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Good Day, Everyone, I saw that the film
adaptation of Andrew Lloyd Webber's
musical Cats is getting the diabolical film
reviews not only from professional
critics but also from people on social
media company has a rating of just 19
percent on Rotten Tomatoes so I thought
I'm gonna have to go and see that
because it can't be as bad as people who
make out the cast is amazing you've got
Judi Dench in McKellen Idris Elba Taylor
Swift rebel Wilson and James Corden is
also in it, I don't get the fascination
with James Corden, people think he's
delirious
I think he's just ticking a diversity
box so a TV company can say they employ
a fat bloke
now it wasn't expecting to enjoy this
film when I arrived at cinema, Nickelback was playing I
would have taken that as an omen but I
wasn't expecting to enjoy it because
with the acceptance of Mary Poppins the
greatest showman and Tenacious D's Pick
of Destiny I loathe musicals I know that
when we go to the cinema or the theatre
were meant to suspend disbelief and I
can accept that a farm boy from Tatooine
blew up the Death Star but I can't
accept the idea that if I were walking
down the street singing to myself
everyone behind me is going to be doing
a choreographed dance routine that's
just psychosis also it's worth
mentioning the version of cats that I've
seen it's the re-edited version because
the reviews were so terrible Amblin
entertainment have reacted the film to
make it better and I'll say this if that
is a better version of cats
God alone knows what the original was
like I expect cinema rushes was just
stabbing people I wouldn't say that it's
the worst film I've ever seen I'd say
it's the worst thing I've ever seen and
I watch documentaries on the second
world war
sitting down the film started in within
five minutes I wanted a cigarette and I
gave up smoking nine years ago ten
minutes into the film I was considering
self-harming but the worst thing is that
the film had been on for about an hour
and a half so I was thinking thank God
least it's soon going to end I checked
my phone for the time and it been on for
24 minutes now this is the first time
I've made all the way through a
production of cats
occasionally it's on sky art the stage
production or BBC 4 and I've always
found that musical to be so far up its
own ass it's in danger of turning inside
out if you're not familiar with the plot
basically every character is a cat they
introduce themselves then sing a song
about themselves that's pretty much it
and most of the songs aren't that good
either the cat's name seemed for being
introduced just to give Andrew Lord
whether something to rhyme with even the
big song of one we all know I think it's
called memories dude that one in the
film it's Jennifer Hudson singing that
and she is an amazing singer but they've
decided that every time her voice gets
louder they increase the backing music
so you can barely hear them throughout
the song and also for reasons I don't
understand she sings the whole song with
snot running down their face than that
the final song which has her got Dame
Judi Dench singing directly damn that
the kid the camera lens is just
uncomfortable
I wanted to wash myself with why well
the film was that good but by the time
it ended 12 people have left and two
kids were crying now given the choice
between watching that film again or
being bent over the chair and forcibly
buggered all I would ask it – there's no
eye contact and the guy doesn't go in
dry so I was thinking who is actually
going to enjoy this film and it struck
me furries will love it furries the
people who dress up as animals and
each other they are going to have a
field day on this is a truly awful film
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